everydayis2sday.com

Winter Lovers? What-ev-er. YOU come dig my van out!

2010-02-10T03:17:00Z

After dealing with masses of snow that can't be navigated through by toddlers or conversion van, I have nothing left to give the world except this, the one thing that makes living through the hell of winter all worth while...

Summer

I'm ok, You're ok...Lets's sleep!

2010-02-07T17:23:00Z

As I’ve written about for the past few weeks, we have been having a lot of issues with sleep in the past few months. It has been pretty much expected that we are woken up by a screaming toddler at least once a night, leaving everyone, especially Mommy and Daddy, pretty cranky and stressed in the daytime.

To deal with this issue we have brainstormed every possible solution from moving beds to flat out ignoring. We have taken the advice of friends, parents and SuperNanny. We have begged, pleaded and bribed the twins to just GO TO SLEEP, all too often ending up in anger and frustration.

My kids sleep has always been a major priority for me because I have seen the misbehavior that often comes from being tired. I have always been a stickler for bedtime, often to the point of being mocked by others, many times skipping fun events in favor of sticking to their schedules.

Not having this routine has been exceptionally hard, which is perhaps why I finally broke down and read Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s book Sleepless in America. This book has been suggested to me many times in my various ECFE classes, but I have always resisted. I’m not the type of parent that enjoys reading instruction style parenting books and often find the masses of followers, such as the “Ferberized,” very cult-like and inflexible.

I have always preferred to follow my own instinct rather than a specific philosophy that may or may not work with my children’s personality and would therefore cause even more frustration.

This book was different. At no point does she tell you what to do, but rather gives suggestions for what might work better, depending on your situation.

What I gained from this reading was the validation that I am doing what is best for my children and that many, many people have issues with sleep. I also got the “permission” to do what my children need to help them sleep, that it isn’t bad parenting to soothe them to sleep or, conversely, to insist on certain bedtime routines.

From reading this book I have calmed down my expectations, which has in turn calmed down my children. From relieving my own frustration I am able to present a calmer transition to bedtime for them, which has led to better naps, better bedtimes, better mornings and, most importantly, a better household environment.

I think that there is a lot of pressure on parent to do the “right” thing, even though “right” is completely subjective. Every family has to do what’s right for them.

For us, it’s sleep.

Everything else is secondary to that simply because nothing is fun without it.

Morty and George--Year 2!!!

2010-02-05T14:01:00Z

Happy Birthday Momo and Jojo!

You are officially 2 today! Gone are the days of being a baby...you guys are bona fide toddlers now!

It has been a big year for you guys. In the past 12 months you have gone from tentative walkers to runners. You have learned to climb everything that you can and take apart everything that you can"t.

You have eaten more food than should be humanly possible for people as small as you...but then you've pooed more than one could imagine too. I guess it all works out!

You have fought each other over bread crumbs, vacuums, toys, power tools and more, often resulting in a bite to the face or back. You both often have multiple bite marks covering your body, much to your mommy's embarrassment and dismay. But you always make up and love each other after the brawl. In fact, you two think you're the funniest things in town.

You have survived Swine Flu, Stomach Flu, Whooping Cough, black eyes and stitches.

You have gone from full time grunters to part time grunters who say "Yesh" "No" "Mine" "Monkey" "Blankie" "Mommy" and all the other important words of life.

You became super totally awesome big brothers to Baby Macky. In fact, you're the official "NeNe" (nuk) finders for him.

You have driven your Mommy close to the brink of insanity, but always bring her back by asking for a "hug, kish" and planting a big fat slobbery one right on her lips.

You are very special boys, my little Momesy and Jomesy and I'm very glad that you're mine!

Here's a special slide show of your year (or at least the months that I've stored on this computer )

I've Got To Say...

2010-02-04T02:40:00Z

It got to a balmy 20 some degrees outside in this lovely state of Minne-snow-ta today so I packed up the troops to go play outside. Imagine my shock when we were able to stay out for more than 1.5 minutes--especially since our last adventure was marked with boogers, tears and more boogers!

The big kids went to work sliding down the mound of snow on the side of the driveway while the twins puttered around the garage growling at the lawn mower and inspecting the different cleaning supplies stored away until they moved on to their much missed bikes.






Since Baby Max was able to stay inside and snuggle Grandma, we were free to stay out for quite a while. As I sat back in my patio chair watching my children play, I was oddly content. In these last few months of crazy behavior and cold weather I have been struggling to find the joy in the little moments that make having kids great, but today I was happy just watching them have fun. So, in the immortal words of Ice Cube, "today was a good day."

Twinsomnia

2010-02-03T02:58:00Z

Just for the record, having a kid that has sleep issues is a total motivation sucker.

Take today as an example, while going through my normal daily activities I was mentally compiling a list of things that I would like to get done once the kids were in bed. I was going to start working on our taxes, fold some laundry and finally sit down and organize some of the essay ideas that have been floating around in my head for weeks now.

In short, I was going to have some productive alone time where I wasn’t interrupted every 5 seconds.

It was going to be marvelous.

Instead (after almost 3 hours of bedtime coaxing) I am completely and utterly unmotivated to do anything but enjoy the silence while sitting in the world’s most uncomfortable position. I am currently in my bed with a baby and my laptop a balanced on my lap and a toddler sprawled out across my right leg, a leg which cannot be moved in fear of waking up my biggest sleep offender.

I’m really hoping that this is a phase that my little man will grow out of when he’s a little bigger. There was a time between his horrendous 9 months of nightly colicky screaming and this newfound rebellion that he (and his twin partner) were good sleepers. They would happily eat dinner, have a bath and make their way up to their cribs at 5:30 or 6 where we could leave them to entertain themselves until they fell asleep a short while later.

Now days they fight the slightest suggestion of bed, most nights spazzing so much that either Daddy or I have to play infant masseur/warden until they pass out. Even then there is no sense of relief or freedom because Aiden is guaranteed to wake up confused and shrieking at least one time per night for about a ½ hour until he koala wraps/smothers the parent of his choosing.

I think that the main problem is that when you’re sleep deprived, or at least when I amJ, you start to lose perspective. At this point I am convinced that they will stay this way forever, that I am going to have to follow them to college so that I can sing “If all the Morty’s loved little Georgey-porgey’s” and play with their little piggies until they fall asleep. I cannot imagine sleeping an entire night or even having an easy night.

I need to try to change my thinking and remember that this too shall pass and try to come up with solutions to get me through until it does. Eh, that sounds like a lot of work. Maybe I’ll start tomorrow…

Coffee Makes My Monday!

2010-02-02T01:38:00Z

I like blogs, I like coffee, I loooooove deals. Today the three combined creating my chance to play along with Cheryl at Twinfatuation and Makes My Monday!

Since I had a bad day and can't think of much I enjoy about my children at this exact moment in time, here's the thing that i liked the most. $1 coffee at Caribou! There's nothing better than getting a deal

Like a Battlefield...Battlefield....

2010-02-02T01:27:00Z

So, on this first day of the month that I dedicated myself to blogging the entirety of, I had a craptastic day and want nothing more to curl up in bed with my headache and baby and wallow in my own sweet, sweet self pity. But instead I’m here writing to my adoring public…

“Why was today craptastic?” you may be wondering?

Here’s a quick rundown:

By 8am I had already broken up about 30 fights that included such weapons as a high heel and baton from my twirling days (don’t’ ask).

It then moved on to an all out attack on the tv with the aforementioned baton and a massive amount of mega blocks.

Seeing that I was clearly in enemy territory, I packed up the troops, dropped one combatant off at Bapa’s and took the rest to the gym. When they were properly secured I attacked the elliptical until the point of exhaustion.

Having used all my personal ammo, I was unprepared for the orchestrated rebellion of my troops and therefore fell victim to the oldest trick of “noodle boy,” leaving me to drag a limp body out of the gym with one arm, balance a baby carrier on the other while tersely requesting that the other officer man up and stay in line.

From there we had some lunch and tried to regroup using some team building strategies, only to face another rebellion at the idea of picking up sister from school. Uniforms and shoes were chucked across the room and the soldiers had to manually dragged to the tank one by one and secured into their proper seats.

The long trip back to enemy territory (aka the basement at home…) allowed the troops to nap and regain their strength for the ensuing evening battles.

Which is where we are now. Approximately 1.5 hours past bedtime, the troops are jumping on their bunks, laughing at how they felled the General.

So that, my friends, is why today was craptastic (and I didn’t even mention the part about the poo in the tub…).

A Sucker for Stupidity

2010-01-31T01:58:00Z

For someone who takes great joy in thinking things through in a practical and careful matter, it is shocking to me that I can sometimes be so very stupid and impulsive. During times of great boredom, anxiety or sheer frustration, I often come up with these absolutely brilliant ideas that end up biting me in the booty in reality.

It usually goes a little something like this:

Hmmm. Things sure are quiet around here with the boys all sick. What to do, what to do…

(casually look around)

Well, maybe I’ll read a book while the boys are occupied with Spongebob.

(walk upstairs to get book)

Oh look there’s my bed. Hey! I’ve got a great idea! Why don’t I move this big old queen size bed down two flights of stairs all by myself? Brilliant!

(proceed to take apart bed, the noise of which attracts the boys who insist on climbing all over disassembled parts to “help”)

Ten minutes pass along with some blood sweat and tears, and the bed is finally downstairs.

(stop to look around in pride and call my little sidekick Kyan down to see the results of my labor.)

In comes Buddy. He takes one look around and looks up at me with his big brown eyes full of tears and says, “This makes me so sad, I love having your bed upstairs. Why don’t you want to sleep by me anymore Mommy?”

At this my heart breaks a little bit and before you can say, “Oh my God, what a SUCKER!” I disassemble the bed again and drag it back upstairs.

So, what lesson did I learn from this ridiculously wasted afternoon? Did I learn that I should think long and hard before moving furniture and to wait until I get help to complete these tasks?

Nope.

I simply learned that it takes a lot more swearing to get the mattress back up the stairs than it did to take it down. And that, my friends was a lesson worth learning.

Winter Crazies

2010-01-26T15:47:00Z

Since I am once again stuck nuturing my sick children, I do not have the time or brain power for a new and delightfully witty post, so here is an oldie but goody from last year that was run on Startribune.com/cribsheet...enjoy!

My children are beautiful intelligent creatures who I love with a scary intensity that was previously reserved for Chinese food and donuts, but, this winter at least, I am not finding them enjoyable. At two, five and one, my kids are equally adorable and much, much smarter than me. I believe that during these winter months they have huddled together, conspiring on how to drive mommy crazy the fastest, oftsucceeding beyond their wildest imaginations.

“I know,” five year old Brooklyn, aka the ringleader, whispers. “Alex and Aiden, you two learn how to walk and scream ‘DaaDaaa’ all day. Kyan, you color all over everything and get up all night. I’ll just spaz all the time.”

“Daaa Daaa!!!” the babies screech in agreement, as Kyan giggles,

“Hee,hee,hee, Ok, Sister. I don’t wanna go to bed!”

This blatant touting of intelligence along with the constant fighting, crying, whining and complaining is making me want to buy a non refundable ticket to somewhere exotic where my new lover Guido and I will live a peaceful existence in our mess free villa that is decorated in various shades of cream and white. I will live a life of glamour and sophistication where I will never see another box of mac and cheese, will never hear the incessant whine of “Mama, mama, mama….look at me!” and will lounge luxuriously in bed until I am no longer fatigued. I will revel in this life and the sheer happiness that the free life brings me for about 10 minutes when I will then start missing my kids.

I credit this rich fantasy life to the insanity of a Minnesota winter, for, when the weather is nice, my fantasies are much duller. When the weather is nice, we spend most of the day outside exploring the creek, riding bikes, playing and swimming—not sitting in a basement staring each other for 12 hours at a stretch.

During the warm months, I look forward to our days where I can watch my brood explore and play, with glorious sun glistening off their golden blonde locks. I love cleaning the sand off of their chubby feet; I love the tan lines that cover their little booties, regardless of the amount of sunblock I apply. I love simply being with them.

During the winter I wake up counting the hours until bedtime because there is nothing to do but sit. Up until this winter, I made an effort to get out of the house every day. I was the master of indoor playgrounds, free days at museums, lunches out and mall trips. As a threesome, and even in the early days of the ‘fivesome’, (there aren’t even any graceful words for it), we were out every day, trying to avoid and suppress the special brand of crazy that I knew lurked within me.

Now, most likely since I can’t go anywhere without seeking and putting on four coats, eight shoes, four hats, a pair of pants deemed acceptable for Kyan to wear over his shorts (don’t ask), four hats and then lugging four kids out to be buckled into their respective car seats, only to do it in reverse when we get somewhere, I don’t go anywhere. Since we don’t go anywhere, we have a lot of time on our hands. And what do we do with this time? The kids tear the house apart, fight over everything from toilet paper to dust bunnies and generally annoy me. And me? I obsess about not being able to go anywhere and succumb to my crazy, passing the days by creating rich fantasy lives of the Guido loving me, the powerful career person me, the childless me, the person I would be if…

The problem with this brand of crazy is that my kids aren’t going anywhere, and I would miss them if they did. Savvy conspirators that the are, they always seem to sense when I am searching out their receipts to facilitate an easier return, for these are the times where they attack me with their own special brands of hugs and kisses. Kyan, built like a line backer, favors a bear hug with a shift that causes his arms to smash straight down between us, while Brooklyn goes more for the monkey wrap, both arms and legs securely wrapped around my neck and waist. The babies simply look at me wish big blue eyes and gummy smiles and say, “Da Daaa.” (only I know they mean Mama…).

These hugs are usually enough to erase the craziness of moments past, but in the rare times when the zaniness was of a higher order, they always know to throw in a “You’re the bestest mommy ever.” Combined with a little hair stroking and it is usually enough to erase any transgressions that may have just occurred, almost always bringing me back from my imaginings.

During the times it’s not enough, I make sure to take a mental note to send them a post card, assuring them that I will be back once spring comes.

From Negative Nelly to Positive Polly

2010-01-22T13:30:00Z

In an effort to combat my tendency towards being a Negative Nelly, I have decided to take a moment and reflect on the parts of parenting that I really, truly love. It’s all too easy to forget about the fun, snuggly moments when the coffee is being flung across the kitchen (again…), but along with the challenges kids can bring complete innocence and joy.

I love the way that all of my kids curl up next to me and squish their feet into my back or belly, exactly the way they did as newborns.

I love the way that they snuggle by each other when they think that no ones looking.

I love the way they ask when their sibling is coming home over and over, even though they claim to hate them.

I love their cute little butts and the way they run to the bathtub and do a booty shaking dance.

I love that they truly think they’re awesome at everything they do.

I love it when they comfort each other.

I love how they want nothing more than to sit home and hang out with me.

I love their flair for the dramatic.

I love how the twins carry armfuls of blankets as big as them with they wherever they go.

So there you have it. This is my first attempt at “living in the moment.” I am going to try to enjoy the precious things that my kids do before they grow up and never do them anymore. I hope to try to remember the gushy moments when I feel like my brain is about to explode and I hope to remember that there are way more good times than bad.

Wanted: New Partner in Crime

2010-01-21T18:36:00Z

High school is a time that I would not want to relive for anything except for one thing: friendships. When you are a teenager, your friends are your life. They are the people that you share your innermost thoughts and feelings with. They help you learn from your mistakes and give advice about the confusing parts of life. There is an intimacy shared, especially between girl friends that cannot be replaced by any other relationship.

I don’t have that anymore and I miss it.

Throughout the past 6 years I have been so consumed by pregnancies, newborns, money issues, family issues and general day to day tasks that I have disconnected myself from friends of my past. My life changed dramatically and, for the most part, theirs didn’t—a fact that created a gap that is almost impossible to close.

I have tried to cultivate new friendships with my kids friends parents, but have been unable to take it past a superficial level. This has served me well for the most part, but there are times when I had someone to lean on or cry to when things got rough. There are also times where I just want to be goofy and have the comfort of a like minded person around.

I think that the main problem lies in the fact that I simply don’t have time or energy to be a good friend. I am doing something almost every waking minute of my day, leaving little chance to gossip on the phone or go out to grab a bite. I also don’t have the initiative to make any more decisions in my day. I want someone to do all the work for me. Tell me when to go and what to do…don’t make me choose!

I’m hoping that as my kids get older (and less intimidating to the playgroup crowd) that I’ll be able to find a partner in crime again.

One thing that’s gotten easier as I’ve gotten older is that more people my age are starting to have kids, making it much easier to bond with my own crowd.

I guess until I have more time and energy I’ll have to rely on my Facebook “friends” (aka people that I casually knew before and now am compelled to comment on…) and my “friends” on tv (who doesn’t get attached to bad reality TV characters? = ) )as my social outlet.

Mommy Truths

2010-01-17T12:43:00Z

I’ve been in my current position as full time obsessive parent for the past 6 years. During this time I have been part of many playgroups, early childhood classes and play dates in an attempt to socialize both my children and myself. While I have had many enjoyable experiences and met some nice people, there is one thing that continually bothers me about getting together with other parents: the lack of honesty.

In a group setting, no one wants to talk about what they do to just get through their day. No one wants to separate themselves from the crowd and admit the good, bad and ugly that comes with parenting small children. Because of this holding back, insecurity runs rampant in new parents because you start to feel that you’re the only one who yells at/ overindulges/sleeps with/is completely ruled by your children. You start to feel like you’re the worst parent around because everyone else has it so together.

Wrong.

Truth is, whether they admit it or not, every parent has their vices. Every parent does things or says things that they fear might be judged by others.

I truly believe that if we, as parents, got over our insecurities enough to be honest with each other we would be happier people and raise happier children.

So, in promotion of a better tomorrow, here is a list of some of my most hush, hush parenting truths.

1) I don’t feed my kids vegetables nearly enough because I am so tired of picking them up from the floor.

2) All of my babies have slept firmly planted in my armpit for the first months of their lives.

3) I will do anything to get people to sleep including bribing, cajoling and, at desperate times when my sanity is severely threatened, letting them scream until they pass out.

4) Sometimes, when behavior is especially bad, I do not like my children.

5) 50% of the time I think I’m a pretty kick ass mom.

6) 50% of the time I think I’m a complete failure who should have my children taken away.

7) I yell too much as say stupid things that I feel bad about out of frustration.

8) I tease my kids just to get a reaction.

9) I let them sleep in their clothes just to have an easier morning.

10) I think my kids are cooler than yours.

11) I spend more time finding ways to avoid playing than playing

12) I don’t always know that if, given the opportunity, I would do it all again in the same way.

13) I let my kids fight it out, only intervening when there is serious bodily harm or, in extreme cases, bloodshed.

14) I depend on Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel to baby sit my kids way too much in order to get things done.

So, there you go. Some truths from my world as Mommy.

I’m not always proud of what I do, but I know that I am doing the best job that I can. My children are loved, healthy, smart and pretty well adjusted. They seem to be striving and surviving because of (and sometimes in spite of ) my actions.

What are your truths?

10 Things I Said Today That Prove I'm a Stellar Parent Vol 3

2010-01-15T01:24:00Z

Yeah, it starts with a little tongue fu negotiation:

1. If you get dressed right now I’ll let you brush your teeth, but 1 time only!

2. One person on the potty at a time. Oh fine, but you’ve gotta go backwards.

3. If you’re going to jump off the table, put some blankets down first and be careful for your owie.

4. Dogs don’t like to be vacuumed.

5. Get your foot out of the dog food.

6. Get your shoe out of the dog food.

7. JUST GET AWAY FROM THE DOG FOOD!

8. No more numnums. If I feed you any more you’re going to end up on Maury with a chicken bone in your hand!

9. No squatting in the bathtub!

10. Everybody out! THAT is why we don’t squat in the bathtub!

And now the archives of things I've said that prove (beyond a resonable doubt) that I am a stellar parent:

Vol 1
Vol 2

I'm Positive There's a Silver Lining...

2010-01-13T19:24:00Z

I’m a wee bit of a Krabby Patty today so I thought I’d take my beloved husband’s advice and look for the positives in the situations that usually cause crankiness.

Here goes!

1) I am thankful that the twins’ digestive systems are in fine working order as proved by their continuous pooey diapers.

2) Having a daughter that is displaying challenging behaviors reminiscent of my youth is okay because she’ll obviously grow up to be a stellar human being like myself.

3) Kyan’s refusal to leave the house without being dragged out helps me to build both physical and mental endurance.

4) Early mornings = early bedtimes.

5) Messes give me the opportunity to organize the house in order to prevent messes.

6) The kids refusing to eat the “disgusting” foods I make leaves more for me!

All right. That’s enough positivity for today…now I’m going to go bask in the glow of the silver lining my doom and gloom clouds produce.

I am also going to continue my day as an optimist because, as Winston Churchill said (at least according to a google search on positive thinking quotes), “a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

So, annoying events of the day? Bring it! I will conquer you and learn from the opportunities you bring!

Sleepless in Minneapolis

2010-01-12T04:07:00Z

The twins are in the midst of an all out sleep rebellion. They've been climbing out of their cribs for months, but have only just recently graduated to climbing out and wandering around the house.

Usually this results in one or both of us waking up with a 30 pound toddler clinging to our heads like a koala, but last night was different. Last night we, or more accurately, Eric, got a lovely wake up call at 2 am in the form of a Windex shower.

Alex had woken up and moseyed into the bathroom where he first found lotion and then scored Windex. Since cleaning products are like crack to the twins, he was in "keen" heaven and was spraying away, much to his hearts delight.

After confiscation, the subsequent clean up, and hysteria that accompanies being put back to the torture chamber we refer to as bed, we were allowed about 2.5 hours more sleep until Aiden discovered a carelessly placed glass of water (my bedside table, what, oh what was I thinking??), which he swiftly and promptly dumped out all over the floor. My little scientist in action...

The biggest problem with this new scenario is (apart from the general destruction) is that once interrupted from their mission they have to be lulled back to sleep with a complex arrangement of crying, singing, blanket throwing, empty threats and rubs, usually resulting in their climbing into bed accompanied by their 18 blankies.

To really visualize the circus party, combine the twins' trapeze acts with a two month old who thinks I'm his nighttime pacifier and a six year old who is suddenly terrified of her closet and insists on sleeping smack dab in the middle of our bed, we've got quite a party going on!

Part of me wants to think there's something precious about waking up smooshed in bed with my 5 kids and husband, but the reality is I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!

Some nights when I'm being kept awake by the pesky lack of circulation in my arm that's being crushed, er,cuddled, by a child, I picture myself crawling into the abandoned crib and drifting off into a blissful, solitary sleep. It’s such a beautiful thought that I almost do it, but before I can shimmy out from my human blanket, someone starts crying and I have to start the process again.

Photo Credit: jurvetson

Makes My Monday -- Nap Success!

2010-01-11T16:16:00Z

Today the only thing that can Make My Monday (see Twinfatuation) is the gentle reminder that my babies, or toddlers rather, really do sleep sometimes.

Since we are in the throws of all out sleep rebellion (as I will post about later when my brain fog clears up), this picture helps me maintain the hope that better days (and nights!) are yet to come.

Winter Torture

2010-01-10T02:00:00Z

Time spent bundling = 10 minutes

Time spent explaining why you can't wear shorts in the snow = 10 minutes

Time spent finding escaped toddler and the boots that they have discarded = 5 minutes

Time spent rebundling = 5 minutes

Time spent guiding everyone out the door = 2 minutes

Time spent outside = 1.5 minutes

33.5 minutes of my spent and 4 pictures of winter misery = So worth it.

No children were harmed in this 1.5 minutes of nature.

They were, in fact, rewarded with NumNums.

Way Back Whensday...Aargh, Matey!

2010-01-06T22:14:00Z

Date: April 13, 2006

Kyan was born to be a pirate or a sailor. As you can see from his little scrunched up face as a newborn he was somewhat reminiscent of Popeye. Perhaps that is why is so infatuated with the Spongebob's boss Mr. Krab's lingo. For Christmas his Aunt and Uncle sent him a book which he opened, hugged to his chest and squealed "It's me own book! I love me own book!"

Aye, aye Captain Kychael.

Do you have any memories of your kids? Post them on your blog and play along with Cheryl at Twinfatuation!

New Year, New Attitude...Sorta

2010-01-06T02:58:00Z

Ah, 2010. A new year, a new decade. A chance to start over. A turning point to right the wrongs of the past. A starting point for a better future. Or, a reason to feel bad that you’re doing the same old crap…

Spurred on by the relentless media coverage of New Year’s resolutions, change and overall self improvement this time of year, I, once again (see last years post), decided that I too was going to make positive strides in my own personal betterment. To achieve this betterment I have had to spend some quality time thinking about what I would like to change. This part was fortunately very easy since

a) I live in a glorious state where negative temperature readings encourage your body to hibernate.

My brain picks up the slack for my lack of physical exertion by constantly spinning and

c) I am naturally somewhat neurotic and love making lists (I sometimes make lists that include things I’ve already done just to get thrill of crossing it out. Shh…don’t tell anyone)

So, the list for self improvement in 2010 was born. On it were sincere ideas for simple changes that would lead to increased happiness and a general sense of rejuvenation in my family. By following this list and accomplishing its tasks I was going to lead my family into a year of sunshine and butterflies.

A year of positive parenting and little yelling.

A year of half full instead of half empty.

A year of restful nights and smooth flowing days.

Now knowing that the reality of five small kids does not always allow for grand changes, I decided to start slow and take baby steps when implementing my positive changes. First I would attack bedtime issues (everyone in their own bed ALL NIGHT!) then I would work on positive reinforcement and encouragement and then, when everyone was rested and ready for some discussion, we would sit down and sort through a new set of guidelines (not rules…to negative) that our family would live by to ensure continued bliss and happiness.

I decided to start the plan immediately.

To deal with the twins constant crib climbing and bedtime refusal I decided to take down their cribs and with the help of a mighty strong 6 year old drag a full size mattress up from the basement.

No big thing since they’ve been climbing out for months, right?

They should love having a big bed of their own, right?

This is a great decision, right??

Wrong.

The first two nights of 2010 were spent dragging two 30 pound hysterical, flailing, noodle like toddlers back into bed at all hours of the night over and over again followed by early morning demands from the big kids and general need requests from the baby.

This lack of “restful nights” directly impacted my dreams of smooth flowing days. Instead there was a lot of crying and yelling…mostly on my part. It had all seemed so perfect in my delusional fantasies and I was completely (and admittedly irrationally) annoyed that they just couldn’t instantly conform to my vision. Sigh.

Now that I have had some time to regain my zen and composure (after two days of complete self pity and fantasies of child stealing gypsies) I have come to realize that the only person’s behavior I can change is mine.

To get my kids to morph into my fantasy children, I am going to have to be the type of mother that encourages that behavior. To do this I am going to have to make big changes like turning a crying child back to their bed at night, and refusing to snicker at potty humor. Unfortunately all of these things go against my nature. It breaks my heart when my kids are sad at night and I don’t care what anyone says, potty humor IS funny!

So maybe I’m not the perfect mom to the perfect family. Maybe we all yell too much. Maybe my kids are spoiled. But the fact is that, for the most part, I am happy with my hooligans just the way they are and I refuse to bow to the pressure to change.

2010…like us or not, here we come!

Mama Needs a Life!

2009-11-29T01:57:00Z

It’s Saturday night and I feel like going out, dressing pretty and having some fun which is somewhat of a rarity for me since having kids has turned me into even more of a hermit. These days I don’t leave the house alone much less past dark and out of my sweat pants, but tonight I’m into it. I’m ready to go out and live the life of a normal 28 year old…something that I haven’t done in years.

Problem is that in my years of rapid breeding and child nurturing I have lost friends and failed to make new ones that are “going out” friends. Sure I have some new mommy acquaintances, but no one that would appreciate the call to dress like a hooch and act like an idiot. They are more the types to quietly socialize and call it an early evening…not that that’s a bad thing, just not what I’m looking for tonight.

Tonight I want to go out, have fun, feel pretty and forget that I have 5 kids at home that need my constant attention. I want to forget that I have spent months upon months rotund with child. I want to pretend that I have been enjoying my 20’s in a normal way instead of in a maternal way.

But, since I have no friends to go out with, I am sitting here in my sweatpants and fancy heels with a baby napping on my lap blogging about it. I’m not even sure how to regain any semblance of a social life. I don’t relate much to the childless crowd and tend towards the younger side of the mommy crowd. It’s getting to the point now that I am rapidly approaching 30 (as my beloved likes to remind me daily) that my years of “fun” are in the past.

I guess what I’m really wondering is how do older people make fun friends? It’s not like I can go meet the cool kids while skipping class these days. And I’m not so comfortable approaching the Mom’s at playgroup saying “Hey…wanna go get crunk?” mostly because it’s weird, but also because I don’t want to have to explain my funky and ultra timely lingo.

But I am lonely, bored and need a life! A girl can’t live on diapers alone!!

Tell me, my 10’s of readers…how do I get a life. Where do I go? What do I say? Is it really all over for me? Do I just have years of heel wearing TV time ahead of me? Help! Save me from a life of this (at least for the one or two times a year that I feel like doing something, every other day its perfectly fine with me J)!