So…I’m crabby.  I mean really crabby. And I’ve been this way for a couple weeks.

It seems the ugly funk of winter has gotten its hold on me and won’t let go. This is not a new occurrence for me—it’s been a normal part of my life for as long as I can remember.  February brings with it a curse that sucks every ounce of enjoyment out of me.  In my teen years, I dealt with this by locking myself in a dark room for countless hours of Napster and solitaire fueled only by a massive consumption of chips and dip.

While I have matured somewhat from these years, because of my current role as CEO (chief everything officer) for 5 (okay, 6) needy people I am not afforded the luxury of lounging in bed surrounded by donuts and endless zoning to HGTV.

Since this isn’t an option, I have to take creative measures to increase my personal happiness, and what better way to make yourself feel better than by talking about other’s flaws?

Yes, it is inappropriate, catty, immature and short lived joy, but at this point, I’ll take anything.

So here goes, the top 7 things that annoy me about people:

1)      People who complain endlessly about how busy they are while still adding to their schedule and expecting me to take up the slack because I’m “lucky enough to be home all day” and am therefore, not busy.

Personal philosophy: If you’re too busy to contribute time or even a pleasant attitude to a new venture, don’t add the venture.

2)      People who are fake. Don’t couch everything negative with “oooh, I love him/her to death, but” this is just annoying and does not take away from the fact that you are talking crap.

Personal philosophy: Own your bitchiness whether it’s for good, bad or ugly.  People will respect you more in the end.

3)      People who are constantly one upping each other about who’s the bigger victim.  Example, “oh, that sounds so awful! Here’s what happened to me that was 10 times as awful so stop feeling bad for yourself and feel bad for me.”

Personal philosophy: Get over yourself and your victim status.  Your life is not that hard or unique.  Other people have had it worse and other people do actually understand you.

4)      People who use big words to appear fancy or highly educated.  Special points for those who use said fancy words incorrectly.  

Personal philosophy:  The harder you try, the dumber you seem.

5)      People who have to remind you every time you are down to remember how “blessed” and thankful you are or to appreciate what you have.

Personal philosophy: Life sucks sometimes.  It’s okay to not feel blessed when you are cleaning mushed meatloaf out of the carpet.

6)      People who have an excuse for everything, so that nothing is ever their fault but the result of a vast assortment of things that just happen to them.

Personal philosophy: Life is full of decisions and consequences that you are actively involved in.  The quicker you realize that your actions and perceptions create your reality, the quicker you improve your life.

7)      People who post their entire medical history for themselves and their family on Facebook… it makes you seem like you have Munchausen’s.

Personal philosophy: Get a filter.  Don’t be so needy and ask for thoughts and prayers for every sniffle that affects your family, or affects someone you vaguely know of.

Now, I know that this list might not be for everyone, but it really did lighten my mood a bit. 

For those of you who prefer more happiness and sunshine, stay tuned for a follow up list for things that bring me joy in this cold, miserable place we call winter in Minnesota.