WARNING! This entry is best read under the influence of hand holding, campfire songs, Oprah bookclub books and lots of time in your happy place...otherwise it sounds kinda corny.

I’ve made a conscious effort lately to stop being my normal pessimistic self.  I am tired of thinking negative thoughts, waiting for things to improve and wishing things for different.  I am now on a mission to throw myself wholeheartedly into the world I live in now as opposed to tomorrow, next year, etc.  

I have noticed a pattern in myself where I am constantly looking towards the next phase of life for things to get easier or happier or whatever, and completely ignoring the good that is going on now.  Having realized this, I want to enjoy now, and kick my Negative Nancy self out for good.
 

To do this, I have to accept some aspects of my life that are not perfect—a task that is somewhat daunting.  It seems that the majority of my parenting life (all whopping 5 years of it…) has been consumed by feelings of guilt. 

I feel guilty over leaving my children, I feel guilty about being with my children too much, I feel guilty about not disciplining, I feel guilty about disciplining, I feel guilty for wanting my kids to grow up, I feel guilty about babying them. 

You name it; I’ve felt guilty about it—it’s really quite exhausting.

So, in the name of a healthier attitude towards the life that I am living, I have decided to make the following list:

THINGS I REFUSE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT!!! (At Least Right now)

1.     I will not feel guilty for leaving my crying children at the gym daycare.  They will get over it and I will be a happier mama.

2.     I will not feel guilty for enforcing bedtime, regardless of the cries of “you don’t love me,” by the more successful manipulators of the bunch.

3.     I will not feel guilty for saying no when its in their best interest.

4.     I will not feel guilty for saying yes when my sanity is at stake.

5.     I will not feel guilty for foregoing bath time if it means having a peaceful evening versus another fight.

6.     I will not feel guilty for telling my children that I am not their playmate.

7.     I will not feel guilty for taking some time to myself to read/blog/stare at the wall.

8.     I will not feel guilty for getting upset with my children when they do deliberately stupid things.

9.     I will not feel guilty for letting my children learn natural consequences (if you wear shorts in the winter you’ll get cold; if you refuse to eat dinner, you’ll be hungry; if you climb up on that, you will fall down, etc.)

10.  I will not feel guilty about my actions when I know, at least in the good moments, that I am doing the best that I can.

Now I am surely aware that this list is a lot easier said than done, especially with my impressive ability to process guilt, but I am at least going to make an effort.  Sure, there will be times when my parenting techniques will be less than perfect and I’ll question my actions, but I’ll try to remember the good that I do, too, instead of focusing on just the bad.

I hope by doing this I will be able to enjoy these years of my kids lives more, before they are grown and I am looking back, regretting all I missed.

I would love it if others would play along! Leave you comments about what you refuse to feel guilty about today, tomorrow or whenever!  Maybe we can all help each other be better parents if we give each other permission to lay off of guilt trips once in a while…or at least have a place to vent it!