I’m having another day of feeling like a bad parent.  Kyan, aka “bubble boy,” has yet another rash covering his body which should probably be looked at by a doctor, but I’m avoiding it—as usual.

I hate bringing my kids to the doctor.  Generally I only take them for checkups or if they’ve been screaming in pain for hours/days on end.  To me there is nothing worse than loading everyone up for the hellish reality of four kids in a Dr’s waiting room, only to be told that “it’s a virus, there’s nothing we can do.”

Now, its not that I want my children to have something diagnosable and treatable, I just want to be given the whole “virus” spiel over the phone. Tell me to wait it out a couple more days and then come in if it hasn’t improved. 

If it hasn’t improved, take the time to run some test or do something other than look at my kid when I finally drag them in. Don’t cop out and tell me it’s just a virus.

Part of my doctor hatred comes from my own past.  Growing up I was a little sickling and was dragged to the doctor constantly.  The doctors never wanted to do anything for my sicknesses.  The fact that I had strep throat constantly for 2 years was not enough for them to want to take my tonsils out.  My parent’s insistence was the only reason they did.

And, guess what?  No strep throat since…over 20 years. 

They didn’t want to consider taking my appendix out for the pain I was having, instead opting to do exploratory surgery (on a ten year old) only to find that my useless little organ was infected and curving around, attaching itself to other organs.

Now, with Kyan, he has had a rash regularly since birth.  He has had a cough for over a year and is sensitive to everything.  When I bring up the idea that he might have allergies, I’m put off, given the reasoning that his blood tests didn’t show anything when he was 6 months old.  It has even been implied that he is faking his cough. 

Whatever, he’s two, he can’t remember to pee in the potty, how can he consistently fake a cough?

So, to make a long rant longer, I am tired of doctors but I want my kids to be healthy and get the best care, I just don't know how to do it.  I'm tired of feeling guilty and being judged about not rushing them in for every little thing, but also realize that, as the medical establihment stands, it's often a waste of time.

The question is this, are my own issues with doctors causing me to neglect my children's needs? And, if so, how do I remedy the situation?

I’m seriously considering looking into some holistic methods…anyone have any suggestions?  Cause this whole doctor thing isn’t really working for me.