My Twins Fight! Is This Weird???
Today was a better day.
My babies, Morty and George as we somewhat controversially call them, fight constantly. It doesn’t matter what it is, when it is, or what I do to stop it, they fight most of the day.
At home, it’s mostly about a coveted brush or bottle (of which the twin always has an identical version). At Bapa’s house, it’s about the yellow toy spoon.
I thought that this fighting was normal. I thought that it was just part of normal child development. Turns out, I might be wrong.
There is a mommy at preschool, a very nice, capable mommy I might add, who came up to me early on and was empathetic to my multiple predicament. She told me to ask her any time that I had a question, regardless of what is was.
At first I balked. “I’ve got this under control,” I thought. “What could these babies do that would surprise me now, after I’ve kept two others alive through this phase?”
A lot, it seems.
These babies together, at the same developmental age, are turning out to be entirely different from my “singletons.” Having realized this a few weeks before, I sought out this mommy for some much needed advice and reassurance that my babies weren’t…weird.
Instead I got reassurance that my babies were in fact odd because at this stage her kids were best friends and perfect playmates. (Which at this emotionally removed moment I can question as: Really? One year old best friends? But this peaceful clarity only comes with time and much obsessing.)
Since this revelation has brought with it much soul searching and researching, I am now pleading with any of the multiples mommies out there, or friends or relatives of multiples mommies:
Did your babies fight? Short of buying two of everything (which is impossible to due budgetary constraints and deep rooted moral issues), how do you get them to share? Am I really the only one whose babies will reenact Wrestlemania to get a bottle/brush/spoon from their brother?
Any input would be greatly appreciated to save my sanity…whatever there is left of it.
Dude. Either your friend is living an abnormally charmed life, or she is lying to you.
Yes, sometimes my kids play together and make each other laugh, and that's absolutely delightful. But they also covet whatever the other one has (toy, toothbrush, pack of travel wipes, whatever), and get super upset when the other gets in their way or attempts to steal something. When particularly worked up, my son will hit and my daughter will bite. Charming.
No, you're not alone, you're not weird. Your friend is. My advice: get new friends.
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Thank you so much for your feedback.
It seems that the few twin mommies I have met are living dream lives, not mine.
My babies seem to love fighting with each other. At almost one, they still sleep together, roll on each other, hit each other and grab each other's "stuff" during bath and diaper time. When not annoying the crap out of me, it is pretty amusing.
It has been fun reading other Mommy's experiences with the same issues, cause, hopefully at least, I can't be the only one!!
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