Let me just start by saying this:

My entire school career was pure torture for me.  I hated it from the first day of kindergarten to the day that I finally decided that I would no longer subject myself to misery.

On that happy note, I just wanted to share that I went to pick my daughter’s school for kindergarten today.  We went to a “fair” (something that is supposed to be lighthearted and enjoyable in my mind) and were overwhelmed with information, statistics, tour offers  and test score statistics of every school in the city. 

Since I already have the ill-conceived notion that our Kindergarten choice will affect her overall happiness and self worth as an adult, this was a mind-blowing experience.

I truly believe, however unfounded it is, that if she doesn’t have a nurturing and positive experience in her first introduction to school that she will turn into my school abhorring self—something that I wouldn’t wish on any kid, much less their parent.

I am in an uncomfortable position right now since I haven’t separated my child self enough from the whole school thing to be a parent. 

I really feel that I don’t have the tools to make the right decisions for her, not to mention that the decision I make for her, my first born, will most likely be the one that her brothers follow, simply because the school has already been chosen and its convenient.

So, in effect, her kindergarten choice is not only influenced by my own upbringing, but by that of her own unique personality along with her middle brother’s mindset and her two, as of yet, personality undefined twin baby brothers.

It’s enough to make me want to give it all up and home school – a thought that makes me shudder at my own lack of intellectual ability and social training…  

Maybe kindergarten won’t be that bad after all.