I take my children to ECFE (early childhood family education) because it is a great program for them, but also because it’s a chance for me to be around other adults—something that doesn’t happen very often these days!

Today a discussion started about the desire to make your children happy at all costs because it hurts you to see them not happy, hoping that if we do that, their lives will be better and they will be more adjusted adults.

This got me to thinking: these days I’m lucky if 1 out of 4 is content, much less happy.  Does that mean I am failing as a parent?

I don’t know that I could make everyone happy and content at all times—the odds are stacked against us.  With the developmental age spread that I have, even though it spans a mere four years, it is a challenge to adequately engage everyone simultaneously.

When I’m playing with the babies, Alex and Aiden, 1, helping them walk, roll balls, clap their hands, etc., the big kids are zoned out in front of the TV or computer.

When I’m helping Brooklyn, 5, work on her writing and her work books, Kyan, 2, wants to help/scribble over everything while the babies are left up to their own devices.

When I am bonding with Kyan, a somewhat rare experience these days due to a combination of the high maintenance personalities of his siblings and his own easy going nature, Brooklyn is jealous and once again, the babies are not being engaged, unless being dragged around like dolls by their older sister counts.

In effect, our house is chaos much of the time. 

But, what I realized today is that even if they aren’t all happy, they are learning valuable lessons that will help them in today’s instantly gratified and entitled society.

They are learning, however slowly, that they aren’t the center of the universe.  They are learning how to wait for things.  They are learning to appreciate the time they have and to make the most of it.  And, perhaps most importantly, they are learning how to be independent, self sufficient and how to create your own happiness.

I do wish, at times, that I could be a super mom, doing it all, caring for everyone equally all the time without breaking a sweat, but that’s just not me.  To do that I would be constantly working at it, playing a role that would prevent me from fully enjoying my children. 

So the question is this:

Am I just rationalizing my inability to be all to everyone just to make myself feel better? Are my kids really getting a lesser formative experience because of my rapid breeding and time constraints?

Or will they turn out to be intelligent, thoughtful and effective members of society?
 

I guess I won’t really know until they are grown—or in jail/therapy blaming me for everything.